Most of the people around the world hardly understand, to be precise, confused the very meaning of LIFE.
Life is not just passing your day after day in any routine.
Life is not the one which just needs another companion as spouse or living together way.
Life is not just to spend life in offices/businesses to make money for self or for one’s family members.
Life is not just spare your entire time with your favourite sports and win few medals and awards.
What the life is at all then?
It is something or somebody should not command/dictate our day but we should able to make it on our own.
Let me put it this way.
Your day should commence with peace and pleasant and then followed with loved job/studies with the humanity services whenever/wherever possible and when you go to sleep, you should have the satisfaction of entire day and mentality anticipating another such day to come by which you will ease your entire night sleep.
Peace, pleasant, loved job/studies, humanity service, satisfaction of the day and placid sleep……….. Is it all possible, every day, with everybody?
Yes, of course, it is, if and only if life is perceived in a correct manner. Is there any tool to accomplish this? In life, your versatility and flexibility in taking-up and sharing experience whatever happening around you, accompanied by maturity of utilizing previous experience will only do, not tools and techniques.
A friend of mine, who is a doctor by profession, married a girl after a few years of continuous love. The girl belongs to another community. Right from basic rituals, all her customs are different from of his. All our friends were eager as to how he would take up his future life with this girl who was raised-up in different environment. My doctor friend does, not only understand the functions of body parts but also the functions (typical thinking) of human mind. Yes, it is almost 20 years of marriage life, sailing smoothly with the flavour of love he had before marriage. What is the secret? Friends, it is adoptability of fact and versatility in changing his life according to present. What one can make life better than these ways? Life is not life when it is not felt from bottom of the heart.
In a get-together session of our old-batch mates after a period of 20 years (barring me and other two, most of our friends meeting him after a long gap), can you guess what would be the first question? Yep, you guessed right. ‘How is your marriage life?’ was the question. For me (even to my doctor friend, I suppose) there was no surprise in this. The answer was surprise to all our friends who raised the question. He said, “For me, life is not bearing but sharing”. How true it is. The factious thing is that most of us do fail in this. Tell me guys, how many of us really sharing your life with spouse, children, elders and friends? We indulge all other activities which have no relevance with life but hardly have time for our beloved. Do we blame our destiny, our elders or God? No one gifts life, but it is to be made, day-by-day with your experience, maturity and sharing. If you cannot understand your past mistakes and overcome from that, you would ultimately find yourself in the ruins of your life. Some of the people who unable to face the hurdles in their day to day life, without understanding the precise reason of what happened and find a way to come out of it, would rather prefer to take even extreme steps, like suicides. This is something which needs to be addressed in the school life itself. Children are brought-up, now-a-days, in a manner in which do give better education but not better life understanding. Success and failure are parts of life. Our mind becomes joyous when success comes. On the contrary, it does not want to hear the word ‘failure even. Children in the home and school must be taught the value of failure. No success tastes good without the previous experience of failure. Nobody’s life is perfect but everybody can make life satisfactory only when you understand it.
For a husband and wife, sharing is the key to make life more enjoyable and satisfactory. Sharing in all aspects with your spouse right from home making to official business (if it required be), from raising children to maintaining relationship with your neighbours and relatives, from bringing supplies to paying monthly bills.
Why life of most of the people does not sail smoothly because we always merely discuss, do not share. Discussions can be with anybody, but the sharing can only be with your near and dear.
Sharing just not in words, clothes or bed with your spouse, but from the bottom of the heart, you ought to mean it.
Fight with your partner? Yes, it can be, but fight should be issue based not character based or one’s weakness based.
Disagree with spouse? Yes, you can, but you should be capable enough to make him/her understand as to why you are not agreeing and what would be right.
Are you not able to understand and tackle problems? Don’t hesitate to talk to your spouse. Your ego has no role or meaning in this. Probably sometimes, you might loose best opportunities in your life, when you do not share with your spouse. Who knows she/he might be more knowledgeable than you on the subject.
One my neighbour, who was an accountant by profession, working in a small office and he was recently married at that time. All of sudden he lost the job, just because his computer hard-disk, the one he operates daily at office, crashed. The entire company account details were in the computer. He did not maintain the backup for few weeks. Taking a disciplinary action against his irresponsibility at work, he was sacked. However, he was given an opportunity, if at all he could retrieve the data from the lost hard-disk, his dismissal might be revoked. He honestly tried his best to resolve the problem, unfortunately couldn’t in given time and lost his job. Of late he came to know that his wife is an expert in retrieving lost data from any kind of crashed hard-disks. Had it known earlier, it would have saved his job in time. They never shared their past life it seems. This example suffices to understand the very value of sharing life.
What all we need is to know how to live, not merely how to earn. Most of the education systems in the present days unfortunately, dealt with only the second part instead of giving a stress in leading a life without pressure but with full of pleasure. Life is a journey of education where you learn more and more new happenings every day. May be a few good and bad, but life has to continue its course without break. Consider bad as an experience to avert such things in future and good as the fruit of your effort. Whether you like it or not, good and bad do happen, how you are going to make such things to your favour is all that matters.
Before I call a halt to this article, let me share the discussion of two phenomenal discovery of this country, Swami Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda. The part of discussion was going like this:
Swamy Vivekananda asked, “How can one get the best out of life?” In a reply to his question, Swami Ramkrishna Paramhamsa smiled and said, “Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Life is wonderful if you know how to live”.
Balaji Canchi Sistla
31-10-2014 @ 5.05 pm at Hyderabad